How ironic is it to arrive late to an Efficiency lesson? Because if it wasn't for 'Dad's Taxi' saving me yet again, that's the predicament I would've been in 🤦🏻♀️ and it's all because I'd almost convinced myself out of going and was getting ready at a snail pace. I was vaguely aware this was an intentional attempt to run so late it would be 'pointless to go anyway' meaning I could justify staying home; in hindsight I'm glad Dad offered a lift so I had no choice but to go (and be pretty much bang on time!)
The session started with learning about 4 types of habit - all of which can effect our ability to be efficient - and we were recommended to look up a questionnaire by Gretchen Rubin to discover which we are (she calls them 'The 4 Tendencies').
Turns out I'm an Obliger (take 'The 4 Tendencies Quiz' yourself) and it makes sense; she describes an Obliger as someone who will '[...] meet outer expectations, but struggle to meet inner expectations.' which is true but the most accurate part was written further down:
'The weight of outer expectations can make Obligers susceptible to burnout, because they often have trouble setting limits or telling people “no.” They may, in fact, reach the point of “Obliger-rebellion,” a striking pattern in which they abruptly refuse to meet an expectation. Obliger-rebellion may take a form that’s small and symbolic, like deliberately being late to work. Or Obliger-rebellion may be dramatic and far-reaching, like abruptly quitting a job, getting a divorce, or ending a long friendship, with the feeling, “I’ve had it. This is over. You’re dead to me.”
[...] Obligers may find it difficult to form a habit, because often we undertake habits for our own benefit, without others’ oversight.'
This literally hit the nail on the head: OBLIGER-REBELLION!
Holy macaroni this is me in a nutshell!! I've been struggling immensely with deadlines, or to be more exact I struggle to even care about deadlines; I let them creep up and to put it frankly, I fail to give a shit. This is hardly the attitude I want to be taking on because it's effective at only one thing; failing miserably, which is the one thing I'm trying desperately not to do. 🤦🏻♀️
I mean if we refer back to the fact I almost sabotaged going to the meeting and look at it from this new perspective: I'd planned to go and was quickly refusing to meet the expectation. I was either going to be late or not turn up at all and whichever it was it would have been intentional (not that I'd of admitted it though).
Being in a state of Obliger-Rebellion is my biggest poison against efficiency, and although it's crap to admit I find it's helpful to identify and own it. Owning it gives me back some of the power which is useful to fight back with.
We focused on listing things which makes us inefficient, here's a few of them:
being over-whelmed because you've set a task too big
perfectionism ('if I can't do it perfectly, I won't do it at all')
analysis paralysis (too much choice + over analysis = paralysis)
stressing over time
re-routing (start a task, then another, then another, then another...)
Stuff (clutter - a cluttered space, makes for a cluttered mind)
failing to plan
doing something really well that doesn't need to be done (avoiding the task by doing anything but..)
I can tick off everything above as contributors to my inefficiency, and i'm interested to hear what your thoughts are!
What kind of things make you inefficient?
Which Tendency are you and how do you feel about it? Is it accurate?
My next blog post will cover strategies and what works well for increasing efficiency and forming habits; we covered some great ideas and I can't wait to share them with you.
I suggest writing down everything you've identified so far - including your own ideas, and have the notes ready to add the strategies to! I wrote all of these down in one of my Ladybird notebooks (it's so friggin' cute I couldn't resist) so I know I won't be forgetting them!
One more thing I took away from today: Things that can be done 'any time' are often never done.
If you can do it right away and in no time at all...just do it!